Piling On: So you say Sarah Palin is like you...

Are you sure about that? Several people who were intially drawn to Sarah Palin have run screaming after finding out the truth about her. But there are quite a few that have dug in, defended every lie, gaffe, logical fallacy, and too-folksy-to-be-true debate style. That last point is what truly irks me. It's the log cabin tactic taken to a ridiculous extreme.

McCain's surrogates all have the same defense for Sarah Palin's "darn right", "you betcha", wink at the camera style saying: "well that's how people in my hometown of (primarily white city located in Middle America) talk," they say, shaming us for our elitist prejudices. Her lack of decorum is actually a lack of pretense, they seem to imply; a strength and not a weakness. No she's not "slick" like Barack Obama, she's something even better: genuine. A regular gal, "just like me"

So Palin apologists, if Sarah Palin is just like you, I will talk to you as if I were talking to her.

So, what's it like to shoot wolves from a helicopter? How many different colleges did you attend before finally getting your degree again? Five! Holy smokes. I heard about that thing at your job where you collected a per diem for travel and ended up just staying home, did the company find out? If they do buddy, you are toast!

But what am I talking about, you're not working any more because your in jail! That's right! You were issused a subpoena (literally translated: under penalty) and refused to answer it. You're currently in jail for contempt of court (that would be the penalty) and still haven't testified or produced any of the evidence. It's been more than a month now. Have you shanked anyone yet? I hope your "this investigation is politically motivated" defense pulls through and all of this is exposed as a withchunt.

Oh, speaking of that, maybe you can get your spiritual advisor to ward of the "witches" in the world that are the root of all your problems. If you're in a federal jail, maybe you can get the secessionist group, whose members once included your husband, to break you out. If only you had a position of power where you could cover your tracks, hide behind a cloak of respectability, have paid spinmeisters to make your every action seem normal.

But alas, you're just like Sarah Palin but you have none of her power, access, excuses, nor have you had a national media campaign protecting you from questioning and excusing your behavior. And therefore you are a college hopping religious fanatic with ties to radical political groups who would be fired from their job if they weren't currently rotting in jail.

Unless of course you're not. And you're actually a much better and more moral person than Sarah Palin. Someone who wouldn't dream of attempting half of the stuff she's gotten away with. But don't worry, when you say "she's like me", we all know what you really mean. ;)

Random Asides:

- It was hilarious to see Palin and Biden get into a "humble beginnings" pissing contest pitting Wasilla, Alaska versus Scranton, PA. Wasilla is certainly smaller, but Scranton has that factory worker appeal. But neither of them can compete with Obama, the son of a goat herder.

- I have no doubt that plenty of people drop those Ned Flanderisms from time to time. My mother-in-law does, and, being from North Dakota, she even has the northern midwest accent. When she likes something she says "Oh, for neat!" and has often used the regional slang phrase "Ufta!", espescially when getting out of her chair. But the difference is, that is how she acts in front of family. Were she in formal company, or on a job interview, or a vice-presidential debate she'd be prepared, answer the questions, and rely on her ideas to win the debate rather than mugging for the cameras like Gov. Palin.